Jack Sparrow Sundae
by INTYFOOYOO
Summary: It would probally be better if you read 'The Kidnapping of Mr Sparrow' before you read this. Miranda is here again to torment Jack on Valentine's day! HUZZAH! But what if her plan backfires? hmm... MUAHAHA! Read to find out what happens! FUNNY!


The Kidnapping of Mr. Sparrow: Valentines day special!!! (W00T!)  
  
Yes, I am aware that I am approximately two months late with this, but I just found it and so I'm gonna type it! YAY!!!! (as you probably already know, all of my fics are based on my comics! And also, I suggest you read 'The Kidnapping of Mr. Sparrow' before you read this. It'll make much more sense if you do.)  
  
PG-13 because once again, it sounds better than PG and because there is some innuendo and mild swearing. And because no one reads PG fics... *sniff* my poor Will fic *sob*....  
  
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Jack was once again standing in a room for no apparent reason at all, minding his own business when all of a sudden, Miranda swooped up to him and hooked her arm around his neck, pulling him down so he was slightly slumped over to match her height. He turned his eyes to glare at her.  
  
"Today, Jack, is the day that we spread love all over the world," She declared, sweeping her hand infront of them to prove the 'spread' part. She let go of him and they looked at each other. "Or just to spend it with that special someone..." She grinned mischievously and he furrowed his brow angrily in response. "Because today, my friend" She turned to face no one and clutched her fists grinning with enthusiasm, "Is Valentine's Day!!" She stood up straight. A wind came out of no where, her hair billowed around her dramatically. She had a faraway look in her narrowed eyes, "and I am determined to spend it with my beloved."  
  
/Great.../ Jack thought, drawing his own conclusions on to who this "beloved" of hers was.  
  
She turned back around to face him and quickly shoved a large bottle of rum into his chest. Surprised, he reached up to hold onto it before she let go. "And I hope you will too! Here's your gift! Happy Valentine's Day!" She chirped.  
  
/What?! Her beloved? Not me?/ he thought puzzled. He turned and watched her skip away singing. He looked back down at the rum. /Ok, now I'm really confused.../  
  
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Miranda's skipping was cut short to a stop and she laced her fingers together. Her eyes turned into cartoony hearts while hearts similar to the ones in her eyes, floated around her. "There you are. Just sitting there looking delicious, my one true love..." she drooled.  
  
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Jack sat down on the ground and the lights dimmed theatrically. He clutched the bottle to him, his eyes seemed empty. "I feel strangely, alone..." he whimpered.  
  
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"MY LOVE!!!" Miranda pronounced, running over to a ginormous mound of assorted chocolates. Quickly her hand delved into the pile, pulling out a fistful of dark chocolate buttons and crammed them into her mouth greedily.  
  
Jack carefully edged around the corner and said in an apologetic voice, "Uhm, Miranda? Sorry to intrude upon you two but I—what the?!" He exclaimed, thinking that he would see her with some man but instead finding her indulging herself shamelessly on chocolatey goodness.  
  
"Mmm... my sweet, sweet love...chocolate..." She mumbled through mouthfuls of pure ecstasy (no, not the drug! Chocolate!).  
  
"What? This is your 'beloved'? Is chocolate?" Jack asked raising a questioning eyebrow.  
  
"Sure is! Why, what were you expecting?" She asked, her mouth full.  
  
"Too much I guess..." he muttered. /I'm starting to worry about this lass./ he thought.  
  
She patted the ground next to her invitingly. "Come! Sit and indulge with me Jack!"  
  
"Wait, but I thought I was your 'beloved'" he argued defensively.  
  
"You are. You an' chocolate." She said simply as she gnawed on a hunk of the brown stuff then reached over for another one. She looked up at him and smiled, chocolate was smeared all over her face. "You rank right up there with chocolate. Only dark chocolate of course, but none the less, you and chocolate are the best things I can think of!"  
  
"Honestly? You can't think of anything better?" In some odd way, he felt slightly honored. He looked over at the mountain of chocolate for the first time and thought, /Crap, that's a bloody load of chocolate./  
  
"Hmmm..." Miranda put a finger to her lips in thought. Was there really anything in the world better than Jack and dark chocolate?  
  
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Her mind spiraled into a dimension of thing that were wonderful. All of them consisting of Jack and dark chocolate somehow.  
  
Jack laid in a giant porcelain bowl. A huge can of whipped cream, a jar of nuts, and other condiments that you would put on a sundae, sat around him. He watched as a bottle of chocolate levitated slowly above him and began to dip, hot (but not hot enough to burn him!) fudge poured into his lap and started to fill up the bowl.  
  
Next, romantic French music that she didn't know the words to, floated about the air, seemingly from nowhere and Jack sashayed over smoothly opening a box of Hershey's kisses. A single blood red rose was clenched between his teeth. "Care for a kiss or two, love?" he growled seductively.  
  
Then, a life sized solid dark chocolate statue of Jack appeared. It was very realistic. Very realistic indeed...  
  
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Back to the real world.  
  
Miranda was leant over a bit, her eyes a blank stare, and she was drooling.  
  
"Heh. So, thought of anything better yet?" Jack asked jokingly. She didn't respond. "Miranda?"  
  
She turned and stared up at him with deep eyes and was still dripping. "Mmm... Jack Sparrow sundae... heheh..."  
  
Jack took a step backwards. "W-what?!" She changed back to (something like) normal and continued to cram chocolate into her mouth. "*sigh* Alright. But that's a little weird... even for you, lass..." he turned and started to walk away, wanting to leave before things got even more strange.  
  
"Uh-huh, sure, whatever." Miranda said nonchalantly and shoved another Cadbury chocolate bar into her mouth.  
  
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MUAHAHAHAAA!!! Finished with Valentine's day special pt. 1!!! I re-read this and it's kinda dirty, huh? =P NYIHAHEHAHEHAHO! So what did you think about my uber-late Valentine's day thing? Eh, eh??? PLEASE REVIEW!!! It makes me very happy so I write more stories to get more reviews so I can write MORE stories and get even MORE reviews! Please? 


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